Trapped!

Trapped…

At times, I yearn to feel the warmth of the sun on my skin. Yet, my pain, sorrow, and tears flow like rain, enveloping me. I question if my sanity is slipping away. If only I could break the surface above, I’d be as free as a bird soaring in the sky under the sun’s radiance. But I remain imprisoned below. Oh, God, can you hear my cries in this deep ocean? Can anyone glimpse my face? Extend a hand, rescue me from this humiliation? I continue to press against the mirror-like matrix beneath, unsure of up or down… Each time the moon and sun ascend, I gaze upward, yet I see only my reflection… Someone, lend me assistance!

“Who am I?” It’s a question we all ponder over our lifetime, whether we admit it or not. Some claim that as life nears its end, one’s entire existence flashes by. In my case, this occurred many times, though death did not follow. I didn’t desire death. But now…

What’s an island if not a landmass encircled by the sea? I am the symbolic island; that’s how I feel in this situation. A forsaken and solitary island, enclosed by an impenetrable glass surface where nothing’s visible, regardless of my direction.

Trapped. Unsure whether it’s within my mind or in this intangible moment that physical hands can’t grasp. Yet, one certainty remains: the force that binds me is unlike anything previously witnessed…

Daily, I yearn for death, yet whenever I sense my life slipping away, it proves to be another dream. Torment! Stuck in a cycle! I’d open my eyes, and there it is, playing out like a movie before me. Is this the realm of Hades, where countless immortal souls dread ending up?

Today or tonight, I no longer discern, as with every other day, I’ve just emerged from death’s embrace. The film of my entire life is about to unfold. Ironically, convention is mistaken. They claim calm precedes the storm. In my case, it’s the exact opposite, and it’s driving me to madness…

– TC Neville Senior, Writer & Poet.
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